


Behind Closed Doors

by DontRememberMe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - High School, Eremika - Freeform, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager Are Siblings, Mild Smut, POV Mikasa Ackerman, erenxmikasa, masterbaition
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-02-03 16:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12751671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontRememberMe/pseuds/DontRememberMe
Summary: Mikasa Ackerman is the Adopted Sister of Eren Yeager, what happens when Mikasas own needs and wants simmer over and become un-controlablly hot and painful? She's kept up her act so far, but will her aching need for him ever be satisfied? It's so wrong... And so right. People will never understand that she needs him in absolutely every way imaginable.He wasn't just her "Brother". He was so much more...





	1. My Obsession

I'm in love with a boy I know, but sometimes I'm invisible to him... Even when we live in the same home...

My name is Mikasa Ackerman, I'm the Adopted Sister of Eren Yeager. People could say that we are inseparable most times, but even then, sometimes it can feel like we are miles apart, even when I'm stuck by his side.

It's on days like this I have my thoughts to myself, usually, there's only always one thing on my mind at all times anyway... Him.

If everyone knew my dirty little secret, they'd think I was insane, wrong, filthy, dirty... But this is completely normal to me... I can't control myself when we're alone in the house together. God knows what people would say let alone think... God knows what Carla and Grisha would have to say.

There's nothing wrong with what I do, I'm not hurting anyone... Just myself a little more everyday... What's the harm in that?...

It's often in times of desperation like this I find myself in such a messed up mental state, I can't focus on anything but the sounds emerging from the room next to mine. It's absolutely filthy. And I love every part of what graces my ears.

Carla has gone to the store for groceries and Grisha, well, he's hardly ever home... And when he is, it's brief since he's always out at at-home appointments for his patients, his regulars and new ones alike. When I heard the very thing that sends adrenaline and electricity straight to my heart, shivers up my spine, I didn't bother trying to suppress my natural urges. I can't. Not anymore.

"Ah, fuck..."

I shudder and close my eyes as I hear the curse words in a breathless voice in the next room, suppressing a moan into my hand from the male moaning from what sounds like almost right next to me, I already feel my legs start to shake as my mind gets clouded with sin and need. I don't dare make a sound.

I raise a shaking hand to quietly take a picture frame off my wall, just above my bed, having my own secret ticket to ecstasy right in front of me. I exhale a shaking breath before I press my face against the noticeably cooler wall, my body already feeling like it was on fire.

I sank my teeth into my lower lip, not caring for the small taste of blood that suddenly makes itself known on my tongue, as I prepare myself for what I am about to witness. Something I've witnessed many times before by now.

I don't know when it started, but the feelings were always there. When Eren started doing things like this to himself... It was enough to get me going. At the start, I barely had to do anything, simply letting my imagination run wild. Over the couple years, I needed more, I needed him... But I settled for myself, my own hands that I made out to be his in my head when times like this came... Knowing life had always been so cruel to me to start being kind now.

This was always going to be enough, it had to be... It was never going to happen and I accepted life's cruelty. Like the good girl I was supposed to be. Like I always had.

I want to scream, I want to stop this and break down the door to his room and just take him as he is, have his sweat-slicked body against my pale skin and be the person I know he's fantasising about. I want to let him take out his frustrations on me, be his other half.

There wasn't a chance in Hell...

But there he was in all his glory, completely bare for the eye to see. He was panting heavily and had his head leaned back into his pillow as he riled himself up further and further with his strong hand on his thick member, beautifully oblivious to his surroundings and I have the best view in the house. Almost.

I feel my heartbeat accelerate further and I suddenly can't stand the restrictions I'm in. I breathe heavily as I unbutton my shirt with trembling hands, I'm on fire.

The thin clothing now hangs loosely on my upper body rather than be prim, proper and tucked in like the way it's supposed to be, the front of my body and my shoulders finally getting some air. My legs still shake as I keep myself kneeling up to view my 'Brother' through my little peephole.

Eren started to get louder and more restless as he lay sprawled out on his bed, and so does my thighs as they instinctively rub together, my lower heat looking for any possible friction to ease the slowly burning fire in my core, my entire being feeling completely sensitive.

If only...

No, I can't think about that right now... As much as it hurts, ain't it wonderful to feel though, right?...

Right...

Slowly, I reach down to try and ease the burning intensity that's between my legs. My hand slowly reaches further, pushing my skirt up in the process.

"Eren..."

I moan his name quietly and softly as I touch myself, feeling my heat and the wetness it creates over my one and only obsession, my saviour himself.

Suddenly, Eren snapped his mesmerising eyes open as his lips part in a silent moan, looking straight at me, his teal eyes connecting with my dark peeping one intensely and my eyes widen in shock as a loud moan gets caught in my throat from my own ministrations. He lets a deep moan rip from the depths of his throat and his hips buck and spasm into his hand violently as he came alive, his face contorting into that same familiar look of ecstasy that I've come to admire and obsess over constantly, his thick white stickiness running down his knuckles slowly and dripping onto his soft sun-kissed skin as he takes himself through his high desperately, his back arching beautifully.

"Mikasa...~" He moaned breathlessly, smirking through a heavy breath as he tried to catch it and never taking his concentrated eyes from my curious one.

That was enough, I felt myself slip further into the same type of bliss as I dug my nails into my wall, biting down hard on the collar of my unbuttoned school shirt as my hand goes faster and faster, keeping up with my own pace I set that I knew would help get me through my own amazing high, my wetness dripping down my fair legs as I leaned my forehead against the cold wall, catching my breath through wet and parted lips.

What just happened?...

Curiosity killed the cat, but the cat had always had nine lives. Everyone has their obsessions, their cravings, their wants and needs. Watching Eren come alive was mine and mine alone.

I'm in love with a boy I know, but sometimes I'm invisible to him... Even when we live in the same home... He is my Adopted Brother and his name is Eren Yeager.


	2. Facing Him & My Illusion

A day or so passed since the incident, I was still trying to wrap my confused mind around it. Did he actually... Notice me?...

No, no way...

But... What if he did? Maybe I'm not crazy and that was real.

Fuck...

I was screwed. So very screwed. This was wrong to ordinary people, wasn't it? Eren was normal, right? He's always been normal. But...

"Mikasa...~"

My breath hitched right there in my throat from remembering his voice from the other side of my favourite wall, how breathlessly he called out for me... Was I dreaming?... It wouldn't be the first time I've heard something so beautiful like that in my fantasies...

I curled up in my bed, not feeling the need to move. Some days were more lethargic than others, I took a moment to think about everything as I brought my knees to my chest. Erens parents are out again on their own business, Eren went to Armins house after school, of course, I was invited, but instead, I politely declined, feeling lethargic under the weather. The house was quiet.

When I think back, growing up, I felt different. I only had friends to talk to after I was taken in by the Yeager family... Even though it was just Eren and Armin, it was enough. I gained a new family after my own was taken from me and I couldn't ask for better people in my life. I didn't feel so alone and isolated anymore. I still feel like that, sometimes, only because I want what I can't have... What I'll never have to myself. Eren would find someone, someone better. Someone not slapped with an "Adopted Sister" Label. I feel like I was saved and cursed at the same time, saved and taken into a new life, a new family. There was hope things would get better, that things were better. Reality hit me hard with the crushing fact that my Savior was my now Adopted Brother. So close to sweet unattainable peace. So far away at the same time. It was a contradicting line to follow.

Often, it felt like people liked to remind us of that little fact. I know I can be clingy. I guess it's just how Sisters are supposed to be... My love for him still grows, never ceasing since that fateful night when we first met. He saved me. That's all I ever thought about. He gave me life when I had nothing. I was nothing. I feel everything when I'm with him. He was the only thing that made me feel alive since my Parents were taken from me. And I have never stopped adoring him for giving me the sensations of many different feelings. Loving him. Obsessing over him. I swore to pay him back one day, in whatever way I can.

For now, I just keep everything to myself. I would never recover if I scared him away. I pray he never goes where I can't follow...

I exhale a shaking breath and reach my trembling hand out to touch the cool wall, that wall. Even though Eren wasn't home, I swear I could still hear him there.

Maybe I really was sick...

I shuddered slightly and curled myself up more as the recent memories crossed my mind again. It's all I've been thinking about. I can't seem to help it...

His half-lidded eyes, his soft-looking, wet and parted lips, his breathless voice dripping with lust, his body drenched in slick sweat, leading to his...

You get the picture.

A small moan escaped me the more I continued to think about it. I've been more careless with myself recently, becoming too distracted. Too focused on myself.

I moved slightly so my hand could slowly travel down my body, I started to feel breathless when-

Shit.

My eyes widened when I could hear the front door open downstairs, I hold my breath until I can figure out who came home.

"Hey, Mikasa? I'm home." Erens pretty voice called

I breathed a sigh of sudden relief, my stomach doing flips as the feeling of butterflies emerged violently.

I was used to this feeling by now, most would call it being lovesick. A change in mood, physical feelings, and so much more...

"H-Hey..." Was all I could muster back, trying to regain my composure.

"You okay? You sound sick."

You could say that...

"I... I'm fine."

I then soon heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, getting closer and closer. I shut my eyes tight and stopped any of my movements, balling my hands into trembling fists. I always got like this from our close proximity. It hurt so bad but I've always obsessed with being so close to him. Obsessed with the forever growing and present pain. If he went too far away from me, it would kill me for sure. And I just couldn't take that.

When these feelings started, I put it under wanting to be close to him to protect the person that brought me back to life, a form of gratitude, wanting to be close to protect my family, to feel safe. When I accepted it was more than that, I came to those painful terms and conditions quickly. I accepted them because I had to. The pain is like a fire, I was forever waiting for the welcoming rain to come crashing down on me to soothe it. But a storm wouldn't come, it never would. I would permanently be stuck forever in the dryest of desserts with my growing fire without so much as one soothing drop.

Eren was one of a kind. The pain was worth it, so anything he asked of me, I always agreed or said yes. Unless the situation called for his own safety and welling, he could act like such a child when he wanted to, filled with too much, at least that's what people who hardly knew him would say, passion and fire. And what I would give to tangle his fire with mine. No one knew him like I did. No one came close.

"Can I come in? I feel like I barely saw you today." He asked casually

My head quickly went back to its state of confusion from before, before I got distracted by him. If he did notice me... Was he acting like it never happened? How was he so cool, calm and collected with me? Shouldn't be repulsed by me? Horrified?... Sisters shouldn't be doing things like this, right?

Right...

I sighed as the fire got a little more numbingly painful inside, quickly making me slip back into my lethargic mood from before. That's it, I must be crazy. He never noticed me. It's all in my head, it has to be. It's just the pain making my head and chest feel more hurt, dizzy and confused than it already was. If he did, surly he wouldn't be treating me like this. The thought of my name on his lips like that was too good to be true.

"Yeah, sure..." Was what I muttered back as I looked up to my ceiling, him being so close made my heart break faster.

Eren came into my room with his usual heart-warming smile, I glanced at him and the corner of my lips twitched slightly upwards as I took in his unattainable looks, his smile forever contagious. It could probably kill people. And I was one of it's welcoming victims.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Eren, I told you I was fine..." I sat up a bit, making an attempt to put on a reassuring smile as I brought my knees to my chest as a comfort.

"I know.." He walked over to my bed and took a seat next to me, still smiling. I guess he was having one of his better days today.

Those days were my favourite.

"Mikasa...~"

Shit.

I felt heat rise to my pale cheeks quickly as his sinful voice echoed through my mind again, not letting me forget what it sounded like or what he said. I quickly dug my nails into my knees as a helpful distraction. A painful reminder that I was in the cold reality I'd come to know, I wasn't in my head, and if I was, now would be the time to leave my den of sinful thoughts and feelings.

Eren raised an eyebrow "Is it warm in here?"

"Um.. N-"

"So why is your face turning red?"

"I don't-"

"Mikasa." He smirked suddenly

My eyes widened as I saw a knowing look come across his face, a familiar mischevious shine in his eyes that I always adored.

I dug my nails harder into my knees, I was so fucked.


	3. Exposed

Those eyes, those very eyes that met mine on a cold and unforgiving night all those years ago.

They were the most beautiful things I'd ever seen or that I ever will see, The way they sparked and lit up whenever Eren got happy, the way they showed every ounce of his passion when he was dedicated to something or dangerously pissed off, the way they turned dark with desire when he was alone with himself on his bed, breathless and shaking.  
I snapped myself out of my thoughts, the way he was staring at me highly unfair and pushing me on edge. Did he know?... God help me, I want to smack- kiss -That knowing smirk off those perfect lips of his. I held myself tighter, my nails sinking further into the skin of my knees as I grew more anxious. Why was he looking at me like that?... Fuck.  
He suddenly leaned in close to me, his hand brushing my hair away and tucking it behind my ear and exposing it, his hot breath all of a sudden fanning against the shell of my ear made me feel weak, like I was going to die there and then. Please God, just kill me...

"You really think it's hot in here, eh? Well, I guess I do too... You're in here after all..."

My eyes widen, and for that moment, I thought I stopped breathing "God I must be dreaming..." I muttered, hearing my heart beat intensely in my ears.

"You're bleeding, Mika. If I promise you you're not dreaming, will you stop digging your nails into that amazing skin of yours? You can use your knees for better things you know..." He asked, both with concern and slight amusement, his voice as smooth as silk. He leaned in a little closer, I shivered slightly at the sensation of his soft lips brushing against the shell of my ear, my fingers instantly digging less into my skin as if on command.

"You know, I wanted you to catch me last night... I know you've been watching me like that for some time, I was oblivious at first but it wasn't hard to eventually figure it out. I'd listen to you finishing after, Hell, sometimes you even made me cum twice..." He chuckled softly, the sound was sweet music to my ears "The way you breathe, the way you moan for me, imagine me, the way you beg for me when I'm not even there..." He exhaled an audible hot breath, sending electrical currents straight to my head. If this was a dream, I hope I'd never wake up...

"I just..."

"You just what? You can't play dumb with me now, if you liked me, why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because it's not that easy... I've felt this way for a long time now, I was used to coping with how I felt on my own... I-I thought you would have been disgusted by it... I... I Never thought you'd reciprocate the same feelings back towards me..."

"Never say never..." I could feel the smile on his lips, the knowing feeling of it being there setting loose a cage of what felt like butterflies in my abdomen "I always knew in a way I guess..."

I exhaled a shaking breath, swallowing thickly "Eren..."

"I like you, Mikasa. And I know you like me."

"But... How... Why me? Of all the choices you have to pick from... Why me?..." I asked, my voice exposing my disbelief and self doubt

"There was always something about you, Mika... I just knew you were different... I don't know what made me come to you, you know, on that night..." He paused, clenching his jaw from the unpleasant memory of the day they met "I just knew I had to save you... I felt something pull me to you, something made our paths cross... I never regretted that night, not for one second..."

"But... We can't... We're not allowed to feel that way about eachother..." My voice dropped as I closed my eyes for a moment, my existence was indeed a painful one. The reality breaking my heart a little more violently everytime it kicked in.

"Says who?" He mused simply as ever

"We can't be together, Eren, I'm technically your Sister... As much as it hurts, that's the cruel reality of this world... So please, if you love me, stop making me say it over and over again..."

"You're my family... Just because Mom and Dad adopted you into my family doesn't mean this is wrong... We're not even blood related..."

"Eren, you... You really have no idea of the impact you're making on me right now... It's too much... I've waited so long and have literarily imagined a scene that goes something like this a million times in my head..."

"So why don't you show me how you feel then?" He smirked, nipping my earlobe with his teeth "How does that scene end, hm?"

My breath hitched from the sharp feeling of his teeth nipping my skin "I can't... What if your Mom and Dad find out?..."

"That won't be for a little while and you know it." He kissed down my neck softly, little by little, starting from behind my ear. Each touch of his lips felt electrifyingly good. My body slowly turning into putty in his hands. I extended my neck unintentionally for his mouth to have more length to kiss and nip and felt my eyes close again, relishing in the feeling of his lips against my skin. My stubborn mind set on the fact that this was still a dream, no matter how real it felt. And God did it feel real.

I slowly opened my glazed eyes and glanced down at the crevice shaped marks in my knees, the blood staining my nails. I slowly turned my head in the slightest direction to him, anxiously gnawing my bottom lip between my teeth, the numbing pain feeling very real "I swear to God if I wake up right now..." I panted almost desperately, my nerves shattering and feeling on the very edge. His eyes, his mouth, that look, his smell.

This was all too good to be true, it had to be. For fuck sake, someone educe me in a coma right now. Please. I wasn't sure weather to laugh, cry or just give in to this fantasy I was indulging into.

"This is not a dream, Mika. I promise. I'm not fucking with you, this is real."

"But-"

And just like that, his sure hands were suddenly grabbing my face and his lips were pressed against mine in an instantly heated kiss.


	4. Closer

Eren suddenly took all control into his own hands, it was something I didn't think I'd ever be so grateful for. He was... Different. I had never seen this side of him before. The side of him he never let anyone see, sure, there was other girls that could have been fine candidates, but he never showed any sign of liking... Well, anyone.

Now I knew... It was because they weren't me...

Never in a thousand years would I even think about all my dirty little secret thoughts coming to life, being real. It shouldn't be possible... And yet, here we were.  
He pinned me down, and I swear to God that I had never felt my heart pound so loudly against my chest like it was now. I was completely breathless, eager and ready to let him do whatever he wanted with me. He spread my legs apart by pushing a knee up in between them, pushing my skirt up in the process. He grinded his knee against me and I couldn't help but suddenly let a moan rip from my throat.

Eren grinned "Now that's exactly what I wanna hear..."

Before I could even think of uttering another word, his lips were pressed against my neck, his teeth sinking into my pale skin as he bit down on me. Another breathless moan escaped past my lips and I was sure I was a goner, I knew I wouldn't last long like this and would maybe even die of a heart attack at this rate. It was too much, everything suddenly becoming real. Something that was always so far away and impossible to reach suddenly right at my fingertips, close enough to touch in any way I wanted... As soon as my hands were free of course, I was under his control just the way I always wanted to be.

Eren sucked at my skin, leaving a dark mark behind before he kissed down my neck further and further until my clothes started becoming a bother of an obstacle for him. He growled slightly in frustration and let go of my hands in favour to discard my clothes as quickly as he could. Once almost everything was out of the way, apart from my underwear, I felt a darker blush burn my face. I was exposed, everything there was for him to see, almost... I felt my chest getting tight as my breathing grew heavier, I needed him now more than ever.

"You're beautiful..." He spoke suddenly, his tone sweet as he eyed my body up and down like candy

I felt myself only blush darker, I've never heard him say such words before... And to me none the less.

"You're more beautiful..." I managed to breathe, lightly placing a hand over my chest

"I doubt that a lot..." He lightly ran his hand up and down my body "Your skin is so smooth, Mikasa..."

Hearing him say my name never failed to send a shiver down my spine, I felt his eyes burn into my body the more he looked. There was something inside me screaming to cover myself up, but I felt frozen. That look on his face... I knew it well. He craved and needed this, just as much as I did... Who was I to deny him? We both knew I would always give him what he needed.

"Eren..." His name would always be so sweet on my lips

"Mm?..."

"I want you to do whatever you want with me... Even if it's just, you know..." I looked away, feeling a sudden painful weight on my chest

"Just what?..." He raised an eyebrow as he leaned in to kiss down my neck once more, the dark mark he left now sensitive. I shivered when his lips brushed over it on his way back down

"Don't make me say it..."

His arms slid under my back, to which I arched to allow him easier access, the restraint of my bra against my skin gone as he slowly removed it from my body. He discarded it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. I gasped softly when the cold air hit, feeling more exposed by the second because I knew what was to disappear next...

"Say what?"

I huffed a breath of frustration, he had to know what I was meaning. I leaned up on my elbows, my self consciousness slowly disappearing.

"Even... Even if it's just sex..." I blurted out

There was a pause, a sudden silence in the room that seemed heavy. I swallowed thickly, biting down hard on my lip. Eren suddenly smiled slightly to himself, his hands resuming their traveling down my body. He slipped them under the sides of my underwear and slowly pulled them down, licking his lips at the sight of my lower region. I swear I felt all the air leave my lung as I watched him drop my underwear to the ground, the only thing separating our bodies now were his clothes, it seemed only fair that he rid himself of his own. But he hadn't said anything, so maybe this was all just about sex...

The thought made my heart drop into my stomach and I swore that I could feel it bleed, I loved him so much, but if this was what he needed then I'd do it, whatever the cost. At least I'd be closer to him...

"Eren, say somet- Hah..."

I was interrupted the moment he leaned in and kissed my inner thigh and agonizingly slowly inched in closer, his lips were so hot on me...

"Mikasa, this isn't just sex..." He spoke against my skin, between my thighs

"Then what do you- Fuck..."

The second he pressed his tongue flat against my heat, all of my heavy thoughts went right out the window. I couldn't breathe, speak... The only thing I remembered was his name and nothing else mattered. I moaned breathlessly, my hands instantly finding their way into messy brown hair and held tight, causing him to groan and take a firm hold of my hips as he plunged his tongue deeper inside me, making me gasp. There was no possible way I could ever come back from this, this feeling was something I thought I'd only ever feel in my dreams and fantasies, the real thing could never compare to such thoughts. And if I was already loosing my mind from him going down on me then who knows how I'll handle the rest if we get that far...


	5. Interupted

"Eren, Mikasa, are you home?" Carla called as she walked in through the door

Eren and I both froze in our place, Eren leaned back and smirked slightly as he licked his lips for my aftertaste, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. I couldn't help but blush darkly from his action and exhaled a shaking breath slowly, Eren was really going at it, the way he was eating me out made my toes curl and sent shivers down my spine. Words couldn't compare the intoxicating way his mouth was moving on me, and when he used his teeth...

I bit my lip and snapped out of it, with shaking hands I scrambled to become decent again and got dressed. I don't understand how casual Eren could be, for all we knew we could have been caught then and there. That wouldn't have been good for anyone...

Eren watched me and laughed softly, helping me dress the rest of the way when my hands became too shaken to do the rest myself embarrassingly so.

"How can you stay so calm? If we were found out..."

"There's nothing to hide, right?"

"I mean-"

"We're family, we're supposed to love eachother." He shrugged

"Yeah, but..."

"Look, Mika, I know what you're about to say. I know we can't exactly be a public thing, at least not yet anyway, I get that a lot of people wouldn't exactly understand... Dumbasses..." He muttered towards the end "But you don't have to be so nervous, it's not like we need an excuse to be close to one another."

"I know, it's just, we should be careful..."

"I didn't expect Mom to be home so early, I'm sorry I guess I should have planned this a little better" He sighed before turning to her and smiling "We'll have other chances to be alone, I'm sorry I built you up like that..."

"Eren? Mikasa?" Carla called again and I couldn't help but be more tense

"Relax, Mika." He leaned in and kissed my neck softly and my eyes couldn't help but flutter closed as I bit my lip

"Eren, stop..."

I shivered when I felt him laugh gently against my skin again, his laugh was still as smooth as velvet, it was a rich and addicting sound.

"We're upstairs, Mom!" Eren called back, startling me a bit. He glanced at me, an amused look still on his face "I really need to do something about that tension of yours sooner rather than later, don't I?" He leaned in and hummed in my ear

"I swear you're driving me crazy..." I groaned as his hot breath hit my ear

He nuzzled into my neck and I felt myself blush and shiver again, I couldn't concentrate on him like before when I could hear Carla downstairs, she was a mere staircase away from this room and us in it... It was hard to think that only a few moments ago that he was going down on me the way he was... It was dirty, scandalous even... And I loved every minute of it. Knowing that he felt something for me, anything really, took years worth of aching pain away but replaced it with paranoid tension. It was difficult to deal with to say the least and I only just found out, but I guess the later is better. Feeling desired for and wanted by the only person I've ever cared about in that was easily one of the best feelings in the world, even though neither of us knew how the outcome was going to turn out.

"Can you both come downstairs for a moment?" Carla called again and I could feel myself suddenly become pale, the paranoia already taking claim over my being. It was impossible she'd know, she wasn't even suspicious of anything like this, but I knew and so did Eren... What if it was written all over my face? I glanced at Erens face as he called back to her, saying we'd be down in a moment. How he looks so held together is beyond me, I'd give anything to be like that.

"We better go down." Eren smiled to me

I blinked as I glanced at him, no matter how many times I see them, his eyes always captivate me like it's the first time I'm seeing them "Y-Yeah..."

He took my hand in his and walked to the door, pausing before opening it. He turned to me, pulling me close by the waist as he leaned in to kiss up my neck, my head automatically lulling to the side to expose more of my skin for his lips. I could feel him smiling against my neck, his hot breath fanning against it, that feeling alone was enough to leave me in a daze "We'll finish what we started later on, yeah?"

I could only nod, humming slightly in response. My breath hitched slightly when he pressed his lips against mine in a deep kiss, his hands only pulling me closer against him. I had just enough energy left to lightly run my hands up his chest, silently wishing he got undressed while we were busy with other matters before Carla came home. To feel his skin in the ways I wanted to was a dream that was inching towards becoming a reality, I was just being impatient. He kissed me once more and took my hand again before opening the door and leading the way downstairs. The moment he let go of my hand when we reached the kitchen, it felt cold and empty, like his hand was always meant to be in mine. I sighed softly, a new type of weight now on my shoulders, the idea of having to hide everything was slowly becoming soul crushing. I could still feel the tingling on my lips from where he kissed me not even a minute ago, and it felt like an invisible mark was noticeable as I lightly touched my lips with the pads of my fingers. I licked them when they suddenly felt dry, swearing that I could have tasted him when I did and shook my head afterwards, now was not the time to think about what just happened and what was to happen later, like Eren said.

That thought simply thrilled me further, it was difficult to reel my mind back in when all I wanted to do was go back upstairs with him in this moment. But, under everything, I felt selfish. I spent years falling in love with him, in my fantasies, it was always enough just to know he returned my feelings and affections. Staying in hiding right now was the right thing to do, I knew that, but I never felt like or imagined it was going to be this difficult and I knew it was only going to become harder to do.

"Mikasa Dear, are you alright?..." Carla suddenly asked me in a concerned tone, I hadn't even realised I was in a daze, staring at nothing. I never even realised that she called us down to help put groceries away, Eren having already put away half himself.

"Huh?... Yeah, I'm fine..."

"I think she's tired, Mom. She didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh that's okay." She smiled softly to her "Why don't you go get some rest? Eren and I can finish this up and start on dinner, we'll call you down when it's ready."

I simply put on a small smile and nodded before turning to upstairs, in the moment I did I could have sworn I saw Eren smirk at me. I could even still feel his eyes on me as I left the room, it almost still felt like I was exposed still, the way his eyes were looking at me when I was laid bare for him to see...

I shook my head, trying to think of anything else but failing miserably as I got back to my room. I let my body collapse onto the bed, drifting off quicker than usual with the single image of Erens hypnotic eyes in my head. I felt the ends of my lips curl up in the slightest of smiles before letting myself fall into sleeps embrace.


End file.
